Britannia Wrestling Promotions –
Classic Encounters: Fantasy Fight Night
CYANIDE Vs GIANT HAYSTACKS

Giant Haystacks
Hailing From: London
Height: 6’11”
Weight: 50 Stone (approx.)
Signature Moves: Big Splash, Elbow Drop
Career Highlights: British Heavyweight Champion, European Heavyweight Champion, Stampede Wrestling International Tag Team Champion (w/The Dynamite Kid, Bret Hart)

Cyanide
Hailing From: ‘Wherever he damn well pleases’
Height: 6’3”
Weight: 28 Stone (approx.)
Signature Moves: Gas Chamber Splash, Michinoku Driver, One-Handed Sit out Chokebomb
Career Highlights: NGW Heavyweight Champion, BWP Tag Team Champion (Current:w/DJ King)

Bigger isn’t always better? Good luck convincing the first two subjects in this months first ever “Fantasy Fight Night” feature.  At a total combined weight of over half a tonne, both Cyanide and his prodigious predecessor, ‘Stacks, are potentially the last names a wrestler of this generation, or the last, would like to see opposite theirs on a job sheet.  How, though, would they fare against one another?

Undoubtedly the largest British wrestler of his era, Giant Haystacks used his size to great effect during his storied career.  Although globally reknowned for his legendary feud with another ‘battling behemoth’ in Big Daddy, Haystacks fought all over the world with all kinds of iconic adversaries from the ‘World of Sport’ era including Pat ‘Bomber’ Roach, Kendo Nagasaki, ‘Tarzan’ Johnny Wilson and Wayne Bridges. He also tangled with WWE stars such as Bret Hart, William Regal and, the mammoth, Big Show.  More often than not the result was all to familiar for Haystack’s foes, as he would come crashing down on top of them with a thunderous splash that would leave them vulnerable to a deciding pinfall or the dreaded ten-count knock out.

No stranger to a crippling splash from above, though, is “The Toxic Terror” Cyanide.  A rare and genuine monster on the British wrestling scene today, Cyanide, like Haystacks, is a man whose weight is often enough of a deciding factor to secure him victory in a match.  He is, however, far from a one-trick pony.  Gifted with wicked speed and brutally explosive strength, Cyanide has proved on many occasions that he is capable of putting away adversaries in many different ways.  Reigning (as of writing) as one half of the BWP Tag Team Champions, Cyanide holds pinfall victories over many top BWP stars including Sabotage, The Classic Combo, The Red Saint, D Mac and The Matthews Brothers.  As if he wasn’t a formiddable opponent for any BWP roster member himself, his association with DJ King & The Brand only increase the level of danger this man-monster brings to the table.

Although Haystacks often came out on the losing end of his clashes with Big Daddy (like Cyanide, a man who, though big in his own right, was dwarfed by the mighty Giant) Cyanide would, no doubt, opt for a different approach than the ‘belly-butting’ Crabtree employed three-to-four decades ago.  His speed would be his best weapon in defeating the man-mountain, as Haystacks was unaccustomed to long drawn out bouts and he would likely tire after 2 or 3 fast-paced rounds.  Also a target for Cyanide is, strangely, a chink Haystacks exposed in his armour when he was near victory.  After delivering his trademark splash to a fallen foe, Haystacks would often take a great deal of time to get to his feet. Should Cyanide be able to bring Giant Haystacks to the deck, perhaps aided with a few Gas Chamber Splashes, it is unlikely that the fallen phenom would be able to make it up before the decisive ten-count.  Speaking of splashes, though, if Haystacks were able to execute the move to ‘The Toxic Terror’, it’s likely Cyanide would be the one left out for the count.

This is just my opinion though, and you are quite welcome to express your own opinions in the comments box below about who you think would be the last giant standing between the late, great Giant Haystacks and ‘The Toxic Terror’ Cyanide.

Credit: ‘Classic’ Ciaran McConnell

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